新疆之行A Trip to Xinjiang



Part I: for the video, please check here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IO1ZrhY5cgQ&t=16s


从小到大,

Since I was a kid

新疆一直在我的bucket list上面。

Xinjiang has always been on my bucket list.

我觉得我死之前,

I feel like before I die,

一定要看一次新疆。

I have to see Xinjiang once.

然后。。。我终于来了。

And… I’m finally here.


新疆好冷啊!

Xinjiang is soooo cold!

请记住这句话,

Remember this sentence,

在未来的一个星期里,

in the next week,

我会每天说10遍。

I will say it 10 times a day.


新疆太大,

Xinjiang is too big,

时间太短,

time is too short,

开车太多。

we're driving too much.



首先给大家看看我们租的这个车。。。

First let me show you this car we rented…

一言难尽。。。。。

Hard to describe in one sentence…

我想把设计师拖出来爆打!!!!

I wanna drag the car designer out and beat the shit out of him!!!!


是这样的,

Here’s the thing,

因为新疆实在是太晒了,

since Xinjiang is too sunny,

所以我把我的浴巾挂在这里

so I put my towel here

当作窗帘,

as a curtain,

可以防晒哦~

It can block the sun~






第一天,我们去了可可托海。

Day one, we went to Koktokay.



(view)


我去~~~

Holy shit~~~

风景如画。

The view is like a painting.

虽然这个徒步就像某些鸡鸡,

Although this hike is like some penises,

又短,又不硬,

short and not hard,

但是我还是很喜欢,

but I still like it,

因为它太美了,

because it’s so pretty,

美的让人窒息。

it took my breath away.


对不起,我又“开车”了。

Sorry, I’m “driving” again.

“开车”

Driving/cracking a dirty joke (internet slang).



在路上

On The Way


第二天就是疯狂地开车,

Day two is all about driving driving driving,

加上疯狂地停车拍照。

plus stopping the car to take photos.

我的驴友们看到骆驼也要拍照,

My travel buddies took photos when they saw camels,

看到马也要拍照,

took photos when they saw horses,

看到羊也要拍照,

took photos when they saw sheep,

看到牛也要拍照,

took photos when they saw cows,

看到树也要拍照。

took photos when they saw trees.

我有点抓狂。

It drove me bananas.

但是我还挺喜欢他们的,

But I quite like them,

因为他们也喜欢“开车”。

because they like dirty jokes too.

其中,最好笑的一个是:

Among them, the funniest one is:

”你以为他前戏很长,

“you thought his foreplay was long,


其实只是药效还没到。”

actually it’s just because the pills haven't started working yet.”


禾木徒步

Hiking in Hemu


第三天,气温-6到4度,

Day three, the temperature was -6 to 4 degree Celsius,

天气雨加雪。

the weather was rainy and snowy.

我徒步了30公里。

I hiked for 30 kilometers.

你可能觉得我疯了,

You probably think I’m insane,

但是你看一看就懂了:

but you will understand once you take a look at this:



(view)


从禾木到贾登峪。

From Hemu to Jiadeng Valley,

中国十大经典徒步路线之一,

one of the most classic hiking trails in China.


一开始,我们在雨里徒步。

First we were hiking in the rain.

一小时以后,天开始下雪。

After an hour, it started to snow.

两小时以后,

After two hours,

我们需要走过小溪。

we needed to go through a creek.

石头很滑,

The rocks were slippery,

所以我们鞋全湿了。

so our shoes were all soaked.

后面的20多公里,

For the next 20-something kilometers,

我的脚好像泡在冰箱里一样。

my feet were like immersed in a fridge.

没有别的办法,

There’s no other way,

我只能不停地走,

I had to keep walking,

至少让上半身暖起来。

to at least keep my upper body warm.

“危桥禁止通行”

“Dangerous bridge. Don’t pass”


我不在乎。

I don’t care.

如果我注定今天死,

If I’m doomed to die today,

我走不走这个桥都会死。

I will die no matter if I pass this bridge or not.



那天晚上,

That night,

我们不想住酒店,

we didn’t want to stay in a hotel,

我们想要一点当地特色的东西。

we wanted something more local.

本来我们预定了一个蒙古包,

Originally we booked a yurt,

可是老板说天气太冷了,

but the owner said it was too cold,

他们拆掉了蒙古包,

they had to take down the yurt,

并且推荐我们住在当地人家。

and recommended that we stay at some local’s home.

我觉得很有意思,

I think it’s real fun,

那么多人挤在一张床上,

so many people squeezing in one bed,

好像

like

古代的宫女????

maids from ancient times???



喀纳斯湖

Kanas Lake


第四天,

Day four,

我们来到了有名的喀纳斯湖。

we came to the famous Kanas Lake.

你们知道喀纳斯湖因为什么而出名吗?

You know what Kanas Lake is famous for?

传说中的水怪。

The legendary water monster.


我不在乎水怪,

I don’t care about water monsters,

我又没有机会看到。

I won’t have a chance to see them anyways.

我沿着湖边不断地走。

I kept walking along the lake.

风很大,我的脸都疼了。

It’s so windy that my face hurt.

天很冷,我的手机都关机了。

It’s so cold that my cell phone powered off.

可是

But

我必须用脚步丈量新疆的景色。

I have to “measure” Xinjiang’s scenery with my footsteps.

说实话,

Honestly,

跟中国其他的旅游区一样,

just like other tourist areas in China,

新疆非常商业化。

Xinjiang is highly commercialized.

如果不徒步,

If not for hiking,

对我来说,

to me,

新疆也没那么特别。

Xinjiang is not that special.

我觉得新疆很像科罗拉多和阿拉斯加。

I think Xinjiang looks like Colorado and Alaska.


晚上,

In the evening,

我跟朋友们去了一个很屌的饭店。

I went to a dope restaurant with my friends.

我们叫老板收一下盘子,

We asked the boss to take away the plates,

老板看都没看我们一眼,

the boss didn’t even look at us,

说:“没时间。

he said: “Ain’t nobody got time for that.

我要喝酒。

I wanna drink.

不要打搅我。”

Don’t interrupt me. ”


Part II: for the video, click here: https://youtu.be/ztZtexYpmhY

三个湾

Three Bays


第五天,我又去徒步了。

Day five, I went hiking again.

我去了神仙湾,

I went to Fairy Bay,

月亮湾,和卧龙湾。

Moon Bay, and Wolong Bay.

我想哭,

I wanna cry,

太美了。

it’s too pretty.

你们自己看吧。

Take a look for yourself.



(views)


乌鲁木齐

Urumqi


第六天,

Day six,

我回到了新疆的省会,

I went back to the capital city of Xinjiang,

乌鲁木齐。

Urumqi.

其实,

Actually,

在来新疆以前,

Before coming to Xinjiang,

我一点也不了解新疆。

I knew nothing about Xinjiang.

新疆是一片神秘的大地。

Xinjiang is a mysterious land.

我以为所有的新疆人都每天骑马出去,

I thought all the Xinjiang people would ride horses everyday,

没想到,

I didn’t expect that

乌鲁木齐不但很干净,

Urumqi is not only clean

而且有地铁!!!

but also has a subway!!!

我花了一天跟乌鲁木齐人聊天。

I spent a day chatting with Urumqi people。

我特地去了只有当地人的饭店和商店,

I particularly went to restaurants and shops that only locals go,

因为我想了解他们的生活。

because I want to understand their lives.

中国太大了,

China is massive,

虽然我是中国人,

although I’m a Chinese,

我也不太了解新疆。

I don’t know much about Xinjiang.

我告诉他们,

I told them,

新疆的警察太多了,

Xinjiang has way too many cops,

每隔100米,

every 100 meters,

我就能看到警察,警车,或者警察局。

I can see either cops, police cars, or police stations.

他们说:

They said:

“我们不能在新疆跟你讨论警察。”

“We can’t talk about cops with you in Xinjiang.”

我不想坐牢,

I don’t wanna go to jail,

所以我闭嘴。

so I shut my mouth.


除了新疆的美景和发展,

In addition to the beautiful views and fast development,

新疆人也给我留下了深刻的印象。

Xinjiang people left a deep impression on me.

不知道为什么,

Dunno why,

很多人总是把新疆人想得非常。。。危险,

a lot of people think Xinjiang people are very dangerous,

好像他们不是恐怖分子,

as if they are either terrorists,

就是小偷,

or thieves,

或者街边卖羊肉串的。

or selling lamb kebab on the street.

可是我发现新疆人非常热情,

But I find Xinjiang people very hospitable,

友善,直爽,

friendly and straightforward,

就像我在其他国家遇到的可爱的人一样。

just like those lovely people I meet in other countries.



有一个问题

A problem


新疆有一个最大的问题,

The biggest problem about Xinjiang is

他们的山上有很多垃圾。

there is a lot of trash in the mountains.

这不只是新疆的问题,

This is not just a problem in Xinjiang,

是整个中国的问题。

it’s a problem all over China.


中国政府那么擅长洗脑,

Chinese government is so good at brainwashing,

建议洗脑一下中国人保护环境。

I suggest they brainwash Chinese people to protect the environment.


各民族要像石榴籽那样,

Each ethnic group should be like pomegranate seeds


紧紧抱在一起。

hugging each other tightly.



新疆到处都是政治宣传语,

Propaganda is everywhere in Xinjiang,

为什么不洗脑大家环保意识?

Why not brainwash people to be environmentally aware?



学党史,

Learn the history of the CCP,

听党话,

listen to the CCP,

感党恩,

be grateful to the CCP,

跟党走!

follow the CCP!




增强对伟大祖国

Increase your self-identity towards our great country,

中华民族

the Chinese nation,


中华文化

Chinese culture,


中国共产党

the CCP,


中国特色社会主义的认同!

and Socialism with Chinese Characteristics!




我已经想到了一个标语:

I already thought of a propaganda slogan:

“乱扔垃圾,天打雷劈”。

“If you litter, you will be hit by lightning.”



新疆就说到这里,

That’s all about Xinjiang,

我只玩了几天,

I was only here a few days,

还是不太了解。

still don’t know much about it.

如果你会开车,

If you know how to drive,

欢迎以后跟我一起自驾游新疆。

you are welcome to do a road trip with me to Xinjiang in the future.

谢谢大家,再见!

Thank you guys, bye!

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For the audio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMkTyzyVWfQ 在古代的中国,有一个老头。 In ancient China, there was an old man. 有一天,他的马丢了, One day, he lost his horse, 他不知道马跑到哪里去了。 he didn’t know where the horse went